Fuck

The American Heritage Dictionary, defines my favorite word thusly:

fuck  (fŭk)

v. fucked, fuck·ing, fucks
v.tr.
1. To have sexual intercourse with.
2. To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize.
3. Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
v.intr.
1. To engage in sexual intercourse.
2. To act wastefully or foolishly.
3. To tinker or meddle with something. Often used with with.
4. To tease or treat someone carelessly or indifferently. Often used with with.
n.
1. An act of sexual intercourse.
2. A partner in sexual intercourse.
3. A despised person.
4. Used as an intensive: What the fuck did you do that for?
interj.
Used to express extreme displeasure.
Phrasal Verbs:
fuck off
1. Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
2. To spend time idly.
3. To masturbate.
fuck over
To treat unfairly; take advantage of.
fuck up
1. To make a mistake; bungle something.
2. To act carelessly, foolishly, or incorrectly.
3. To cause to be intoxicated.

[Middle English (attested in pseudo-Latin fuccant, (they) fuck, deciphered from gxddbov), probably akin to Dutch fokken, to strike, have sexual intercourse with, breed (cattle), German ficken, to have sexual intercourse with, and Swedish dialectal fock, penis; see peuk- in the Appendix of Indo-European roots.]

Word History:
Fuck is an old word, although throughout its history it has probably been uttered in speech much more than it has been written in manuscripts or printed in books. The first evidence we have of the existence of the word fuck is found in a poem composed in a mixture of Latin and English sometime before 1500. In the manuscript of the poem, some of the lines are even written in code—to hide the lewd nature of the text or perhaps to offer the reader the fun of deciphering the verses and discovering the bawdy words within. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, “Flen flyys,” from the first words of its opening line, “Flen, flyys, and freris,” that is, “fleas, flies, and friars.” The line that contains fuck reads “Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk.” The Latin words “Non sunt in coeli, quia,” mean “they [the friars] are not in heaven, since.” The code “gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk” is easily broken by simply substituting the preceding letter in the alphabet, keeping in mind differences in the alphabet and in spelling between then and now: i was then used for both i and j; v was used for both u and v; and vv was used for w. This yields “fvccant [a fake Latin form] vvivys of heli.” The whole thus reads in translation: “They are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely [a town near Cambridge].”

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I fell in love with the word fuck several years ago, and when Iater I discovered the Jesse Sheidlower book, The F-Word, I fell in lust! Within its blood-red cover, I found words and descriptions that gave a very exuberant voice to my adoration of this fucking awesome word. I have developed my own conversational discourse on the word, great for parties and for flirting with potential new lovers, thanks in large part to the Sheidlower book:

I posit that fuck is a word that surpasses all others in the English language, and as a poet and lover of language, I don’t suggest this lightly. Actually, I’m just fucking with you, but as the inimitable transformer of four-letter-words, fuck can become verb, noun, adjective, adverb, subject, predicate, question, insult, exclamation and invitation…it is such a sexy fucker of a word.

But this is not the thing I love most about fuck.

Science suggests that there is an alchemy inherent in speaking aloud certain vulgar words, especially in situations of intense emotion, fear, ecstasy, pain or stress. In the episode “No Pain No Gain” the Mythbusters team tested the theory that shouting swear words can increase your tolerance for pain, using words like fudge, mutton and hossenfeffer for the control. (How fucked-up is that?) In the second half of the experiment, participants let loose with bleeped expletives. And in addition to fucktastic entertainment, the science was educational. Marked differences in tolerance were displayed, (an average of 30% increase), and I truly believe, the unbroadcast word of choice by far was some variant of the word, fuck.

I fuck you not, the word itself is a sensory experience. Try it with me:

Begin by raking your teeth across your sensitive lower lip (an incredibly errogenous zone) to form the sound “ffff“.   Doesn’t that feel great, and put you in the mood? Fuck it! Bite if it helps, I do!

Next, round out the vowels with a loud moaning “uhhhh” like a thrust of the pelvic hips, only with your vocal chords, lips and diaphragm. Feels good, right?

Finally, the climax… finish the word with a harsh, resounding and satisfying “CK” (sort of like the word cock, but that’s a different blog post.)

Did you feel it? The word in your mouth is like irresistable foreplay, primal fucking, and raucous orgasm, all  tied up in four sexy little letters.  I know I feel better when I say it. Go ahead, you know wanna do it again… Celebrate the versatility, the history and the sheer hedonistic pleasure of fuck with me!

Fuck yeah!