- two Tankas (5-7-5-7-7), written as two love letters to each other.
- remove the first letter of the end word in each successive 7 syllable line.
My latest Ask Pen article is up at OKPolyNetwork.com. Here’s a preview:
2014 has been a great year, I met and fell in love with a wonderful guy, his wife is becoming a great friend, and as the holidays approach, I feel like celebrating. Problem is, holidays are full of traditions, and family, and as a secondary partner, I’m sort of the outsider, not sure what it’s fair to ask for, but don’t want to spend the holidays alone. Help?
Congratulations on your new relationship! It sounds awesome. Holidays can be stressful for polyfolk. Families don’t always know about, or welcome multiple partners. Established couples can find it difficult to change long-held traditions when a new partner comes along. Add in multiple holiday parties, the question and cost of gifts, and Uncle Joe, who can’t figure out who this pretty new stranger is at the holiday table, and it’s tough.
On the other hand, all partners have rights, and the desire to celebrate with those you love is a valid and important issue to address…
I’m not answering a question today, I’m asking one. I hope you’ll allow me this liberty, and share with me your thoughts.
We are human, you and I. Our partners are human; our metamours are human. Even our exes are human, (though I know it may be irksome to acknowledge in some cases.) We battle insecurities, and our own demons, and we bring those battles into our profoundly human relationships. This is who we are. Wouldn’t you agree? There are several excellent books about how to deal with conflict in poly relationships and as we educate ourselves, I think we strive to communicate clearly and often, to check in and speak up, to ask for what we want. We work hard to “own our own shit”, as Cunning Minx would say. We face our jealousies, and process our emotions…
[Read more of this AskPen article on the OKPolyNetwork site. Click the image below.]
with ink and affection,
Tonight I kissed a girl…
…but first we flirted, with each other, with her boyfriend. We held hands over dinner, talked and laughed. We’ve been getting to know each other for a bit, going out for drinks, meeting for coffee or lunch. They’re new to poly, and very much suited to it, though taking it slowly to sort out whether it’s a good step. I am someone who is willing to share my story and my experiences, for what they’re worth. As I am alone this weekend, while Biker Dude is with his girlfriend, they invited me to dinner…
It was so easy, slipping my hand into hers, laughing and smiling. I hugged her goodbye at the end of the night, and kissed her softly. I was struck by how good it felt… how true to me. I have spent a year believing I wasn’t looking for a girl. I wasn’t up for that kind of relationship, with the drama and hurt of a woman’s emotions. I had been burned and I wasn’t going back for a very, very long time — if ever.
But, she is just so damned cute , and sweet, and genuine. And he’s a gentleman with a growl in his throat, and just the hint of a little boy in him. Strength and vulnerability. He is easy to like. I expected that. She is easy to like. Easy to kiss. She’s a surprise.
I feel so much more myself tonight, like I didn’t get it wrong with Dragonfly Girl, who broke up with me, and insisted Shepherd did, too. Tonight, I felt like I could honestly say it’s not that I am flawed. I really wasn’t fooling myself. Whatever mistakes ended our triad, it wasn’t that I didn’t want or love her. It absolutely wasn’t that I am not bisexual.
It’s too early to tell if these two new friends are a good fit, too early to know where this is heading — and for now, flirty friends is okay by me. But tonight, I felt good, and for the first time in a long while, a beautiful woman held my interest more than a charming man. I can’t help grinning like a Cheshire cat, at my reflection in the mirror.
Wow. This is me — polyamorous, bisexual, woman — rebuilding my world.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. – Lao Tzu.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller
On occasion I get the chance to have coffee with someone, and discuss polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and how I found myself on this journey. This week, I had that chance again, with a very charming man. We met, as I said, for coffee one morning, and ended up strolling from the coffee shop to a nearby restaurant for a long lunch on the patio. The conversation was pleasant, deep, and intellectually stimulating…and as we shared, I was reminded that my journey has been far from simple.
I’ve taken on an exciting new project, joining a team of talented writers over at the new OK Poly Network website. My column will be “Ask Pen”, and the below article preview is the first of many I hope you’ll find there:
No Rules?! Are You Serious?
My girlfriend wants to open our relationship, but that scares me. What kinds of rules do you have in your poly relationships?
First, Kudos to you, for stepping out into new territory, and exploring ways to meet your partner’s request. You rock!
Second, as with any relationship, communication is oxygen, water, and food for your journey. Every poly experience is different, and we get to fashion designer relationships based on the wants and needs of those we choose to involve. The right way for you, and your girlfriend, to begin exploring ethical non-monogamy, is something only you two can decide. At some point, you will of course want to add the opinions, wants and needs of other partners to the blueprint. Still, this is your baby; you get to choose. My advice is to talk, talk, talk…
[To read the entire article, check out okpolynetwork.com and share some love!]
With plenty of ink and affection,
“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” ~Leo Tolstoy
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ~Anne Lamott
“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.” ~John Green, The Fault in Our Stars