Penelope Connor — ink girl poet
Anxious thoughts like scurrying ants swarm over me,carry away scraps and crumbs of rational thought.
Thousands of insect feet keep time to the fluttering beat of my over-emotional heart.
Sugar-water tears stream down my cheeks, a map of trails for this demon ant army.
They march in formation over my face, into my eyes, my nose, my mouth, feasting on the tracks of my pain.
I cannot sleep, for the thundering battles they make in my head.
Sometimes I forget,
(when I smell damp night air)
what it’s like for skin to be wet–
to taste raindrops in my coffee,
and wash my own regret
in puddles at my feet.
How can I stay upset,
with the wind in my hair
reminding me not to fret?
—–
POETIC FORM:
Magic 9 – According to Robert Lee Brewer, this form is a newer form, relatively unknown, and appears to have been inspired by a poet misspelling the word “abracadabra.” There are no rules as far as meter or subject matter–just a rhyme scheme: abacadaba. (Remove the r’s from “abracadabra,” )
—–
AUDIO FILE:
On days when my heart
feels like just shutting down
–I sit with the stillness,
make almost no sound.
On days when my heart
feels like locking its doors
–I wear your old t-shirts
and sit on my floors.
On days when my heart
feels like going to ground
–I breathe in the earth and
I feel it’s heart pound.
On days when my heart
feels like it’s fighting wars
–I let my tears carry
me back to your shores.
—–
AUDIO FILE:
this moment
the best I can do
is sit silent
watch a raindrop
trace the shoulder
of a damp leaf
hear thunder climb
the morning sky
breathing in
breathing out
—–
AUDIO FILE:
Today she said to me, just breathe.
I know it’s hard, but there are trees.
There’s a path here, through these woods.
You can find it, hike and run it.
You’ll feel better,. Just breathe.
Today he said to me, just breathe.
I know it hurts. You’re not alone.
Just keep sharing, and believe.
It gets better, if you trust love.
You’ll find a way. Just breathe.
Today she said she couldn’t breathe.
My heart stopped beating in my chest.
My lungs clamped shut, and tears ran hot.
My fears they came to shout at me.
What if it’s too hard for us to breathe?
Tonight these words play in my head.
Just like a song set on repeat.
She said breathe. He said just breathe.
I cannot breathe, she cannot breathe.
I cannot sleep, I lie in bed, and breathe.
—–
AUDIO FILE:
through my fingers
one, two, three beads
mantra whispered
count with me
each breath follows
one breathed before
turn at the tassel
one-hundred-eight more
Pen's Ink 